Too strong and independent? What else should I be?

I got a confession to make: I am single. A single Christian female over thirty. No scandal to it, and I live the life God gave me the best I can. But the advice and judgements from other people can get a woman down:

“Young woman, you should wait for a good Christian man.”

“Who do you think you are, a princess or something? Settle for less.”

“Don’t persue men. Live your life. Study. Do what your hand finds to do. He will come along when the time is right.”

“Single woman like you are the problem with the church: Settle down and marry, it will do way more good than your Christian work.”

“Persue men. You can’t just sit around and wait for them to come to you.”

And the silliest, (even more so as those who call me a feminist never even asks my views on feminism, and judge me as one for merely being single and employed) :

 “Men don’t like strong, independent women, you feminist! It’s because you live a happy, independent life that men don’t want you!”

Fact: More women than men want to marry.

Corollary: Some women who want to marry are single.

We single women have two basic choices: We can either be weak and dependent and unhappy. A burden on the state, parents or friends, waiting for a man -any man- to rescue us. Or we can live our lives, pay our bills, be strong in the Lord and depend on Him if we are believers, and do what needs to be done. I am not a feminist for choosing the latter. Nor will I apologize for it.

And if anyone anywhere accuse me of being too strong and independent again, I’ll refer them to this blog entry.


About Retha Faurie

Attempting to question everything, reject the bad and hold fast to the good.
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