A divorced female friend once gave me some MP3’s to listen to. The theme was about “releasing single Christian women for marriage.” In the first message, the speaker told how he sees, in his ministry, many Godly young women who would like to be married, but cannot find Godly young men. And how God told him he should help them.
So far, so good.
Then this speaker realised that many of these women sit with “labels on their souls.” Past generations of their family were perhaps unfaithful, or unbelieving or whatever, and now people- including God-loving young men – treat them that way. Because these people sense the label of “unfaithful” or “unbelieving” placed on her by a prior generation’s acts.
Now me and that preacher start to part ways.
He continues with a story of a woman who already confessed the sin that one of her grandfathers was a traitor, but now re-confessed it in the sense of the label of traitor on her soul. He tells how people suddenly started trusting the woman. What he does not tell is that she found a husband after that. Then he gives the advice that unmarried women should look at their family histories, and see if there is anything they should confess and ask God to free them from.
He is wrong. If he knew a roundabout equal number of single godly men and single godly women, he may have had a point, and certain qualities, or even labels, in those women and men may have kept them single. But previously non-existent Christian men won’t suddenly materialize when women are taught to reconfess sins of their ancestors, that they already confessed before but not in terms of labels. In fact, this concentrating on their genealogies sounds a lot like the endless genealogies Paul warns against in 1 Timothy 1:4.
Is God so weak that he cannot give His blessings to His child, if his child had the wrong parents (or grandparents or great-grendparents? I see the need to confess your own sin for God to renew you, but confessing and re-confessing the sins of your grandparents? And what if your parents or their parents did things you don’t know about? What if, for example, my great-grandpa had an affair my great-grandma never found out about? Will men always see me as an adulteress because I don’t know of his sin and never confessed it?
Miss Single, you do not need to focus more on spiritual gimmicks. Rather focus on firstly, your Maker (Mat 6:23), and then on giving out the love inside you- if not to a man, then to whoever God sends over your path. Don’t allow anyone – not even well-meaning church people- to take your focus from God towards gimmicks.
Church, don’t exploit the emotions (and money, on courses and books on being “set free”) of single women with gimmicks. There is a simple reason why church women do not find church men: There are too few church men to go around. Period. And what should the church do about that? They should change. The gospel, properly preached and applied, is the good news for both sexes, a challenge to obey for men, women, and children. If the churches have too few men, somehow the gospel is preached in a way that soothes female ears more than male ears, or that do not challenge men’s talents enough. What the church should do, is to ask God what they are doing wrong, why they are not producing more godly men.